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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26553637">please hurry leave me (i can’t breathe)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/unethicalcoffee/pseuds/unethicalcoffee'>unethicalcoffee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>wild women don’t get the blues [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Owl House (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Substance Abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:36:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>590</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26553637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/unethicalcoffee/pseuds/unethicalcoffee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the morning, Amity is gone.</p><p>Luz turns over in her bed and smells Amity on her pillow but she isn’t there. She looks all over the room, sees Amity’s clothes from last night folded on her chair still. She can’t have gone far.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amity Blight/Luz Noceda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>wild women don’t get the blues [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1917418</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>please hurry leave me (i can’t breathe)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In the morning, Amity is gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luz turns over in her bed and smells Amity on her pillow but she isn’t there. She looks all over the room, sees Amity’s clothes from last night folded on her chair still. She can’t have gone far.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Amity isn’t in the bathroom and she isn’t in the kitchen but Camilia is. She has the note in her hand and her forehead looks like a map of the world. She looks at Luz with tired eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is she in your room?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I mean, she was. I think she’s wandered off. I’m gonna go look for her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you going to do when you find her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, mami.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luz pulls her shoes on and wanders out. She didn’t think to bring a jacket but she doesn’t mind. The cold makes it hard to think of her mother’s eyes like an old beast who only wants to lay her head down. Makes it hard to think how sometimes at 16 she feels like an old beast in a girl’s skin. Hard to think of anything but its teeth on her arms forcing her to move, onward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the dead of winter and even in the late morning the sky is deep like you could fall into it. Amity isn’t far off, after all. On the sidewalk again. Luz sits besides her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gave me a heart attack,” she says, smiling as well as she can. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luz looks at Amity in her pyjamas with her combat boots haphazardly tied. Her small white hands clasped, her black nails pulling. Her sullen face, the dark moons under her red watery eyes. Luz can barely think of the cold it scares her so much to see Amity like this. Scares her she didn’t know, couldn’t see something was wrong, hidden, floating beneath the surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you leave?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Amity’s head looks like it holds the world. She takes her face in her hands and shakes with sobs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” she says again. “You don’t deserve this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” says Luz, a little sharply. She thinks about offering a hug, any kind of physical comfort, but she figures not yet. “Don’t say that. What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, Amity catches her breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to go home,” she says, “but I was scared.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scared of what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said you loved me, and I was terrified. Still kinda drunk, too, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luz feels heavy and at once like she can’t hold her shape. Amity is wiping her eyes and it hurts Luz to think how much she loves her red puffy face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay not to—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” says Amity. “Love you, I mean. I have for the longest time. It’s like… swallowing the sun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughs, a little. Luz isn’t sure how to feel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I never thought of you loving me back. I definitely didn’t think of you… seeing me like this. I never thought you would love me like this and all I could think was… I don’t know. I couldn’t breathe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Amity leans on her, then. Luz holds her for her own life. She can’t breathe, either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like a child,” Amity whispers. “I can’t remember the last time I felt like a child. I’m so scared.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll get you help. We’ll keep you safe. You don’t have to hide. I love you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luz is crying, too, as she says it. Says it again. Says it to herself as much as to Amity. Says it again and again and again.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
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